Relief...

As in relief in deciding to let things go, to let myself have breathing room and time to do the things I love.

It has been a crazy year and it feels like I haven't had a moment for myself in ages or times to do the things I love. Just realized today that I have barely had a chance to do anything remotely crafty for about 7 months - no wonder I'm going nuts here! Getting stuff done has been a battle because I just want the time to sit and be still or to spend time with the people that keep me sane (which sounds crazy considering who they are). Other things have been building up around me and threatening to cave in. It's been a struggle to say no to anything that I really want to do as opposed to doing the things that I thought were important. I've even been struggling on the weight loss goals as I was getting bored with how I was going about it - hey do the same thing for a year and you would get bored too! (doesn't help that the results were moving a bit slower than I liked, but realizing I was bored helped!)

Then you add state budget issues that are impacting every aspect of education, trying to go to grad school, working and not being happy with how well I was managing things, other work related responsibilities, surgery and well, you get the picture - it's been a roller coaster.

The things keeping me going - family, friends, the furry munchkins and those crazy teenagers at work. It's amazing the impact that people and animals have in your life when you have the chance to breathe and connect with them. Over the past several months, those have felt like the stolen moments that have kept me going. Facebook is so addictive - but it has been that connection to others and the chance to keep in contact with others even if it was 11 at night and I was half-asleep. Thank you so much for that!

It's time to give my brain a break and breathe! No, I'm not giving up teaching - as if I would do anything else, silly! I'm actually taking a break from grad school and once that decision was made - it was an incredible weight off my shoulders. I hadn't realized just how much I have been craving the chance to say no to something like that or how much I have been struggling with my ability to focus. Online courses and I just don't seem to mix - I do much better given the chance to interact with people :) It also gives me the chance to focus on matters that are more pressing and immediate, like spending time with Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt Ruth. They are amazing people that have had a part in shaping my life since the very beginning and though I would hope that they would live forever...

Life is short and I haven't been happy with the way I have been letting it zoom past! Now it's time to actually live and enjoy it! The most important realization is re-discovering that the saying no to something is saying yes to something else. I've learned it before, so let's hope it sinks in for good this time! I'm saying yes to saying no once again!

Ahhhh...

Now if I could only get to my next weight loss goal of 60 gone, we would be all set... I know, I know - baby steps!